As I help mentor people towards creating the results they want in their lives, one essential ingredient that isn’t talked about enough is willingness. The standard definition of willingness is consent or readiness to do something or an inclination or preference.

I like to add that is also a readiness to sit with or engage in what you are currently experiencing. To allow yourself to be where you are even if it is uncomfortable.

So, we start here when a new client hires me to do something new and likely out of their comfort zone. We discuss their willingness to feel many negative emotions that will likely come up when we embark on the change process.




-Low confidence

-Imposter syndrome


And the list goes on. Many people fail to realize that these emotions are so normal, and if we are unwilling to allow them, they will likely stop us from doing big things in our lives. Many of us want to run away, avoid them, pretend that these emotions do not exist, or worse yet, that there is something wrong with us when we experience them. We can often take it as a sign that we are NOT supposed to get out of our comfort zone when they are a normal part of the change.

My zone of genius is helping my clients navigate these super uncomfortable feelings and lean into them instead of running away or buffering with something that doesn’t move the needle forward.

So, as you move towards the New Year with a fresh set of goals, intentions, or ideas, ask yourself if you are WILLING TO EXPERIENCE ALL THE EMOTIONS that will inevitably arise as soon as you start moving towards the goal.

If you would like some support with your willingness to allow these feelings, I invite you to schedule a time to discuss this further.



Melanie Shmois

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.


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