When working with high-achievers who have struggled with perfectionism one common theme I see time and time again is what I call: comparisonitis.
This is when someone compares themselves to someone else, typically in the same field or has a similar business structure and in turn, tries to mimic that person’s strategy to succeed and ends up feeling less than in some way.
Let’s face it, we are judgmental creatures and it is very natural for us to compare ourselves to others, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, when it starts to somehow make us feel poorly, this is a sign that it is not supportive of the outcomes we are looking to create.
“To find yourself, think for yourself.” – Socrates
You see when we have comparisonitis we are unable to see our own genius, we don’t recognize our own successes and we step out of our brilliance and creativity and start trying on someone else’s. We can see some success in this, but where I have seen exponential growth and success is when we stay in our own lane and explore more of what we can do with who we really are.
For example, I coach fitness instructors who often mimic their mentor’s classes because they love them so much, which is understandable for the first few weeks, but I truly seem the blossom when they have the courage to create their own routines, use their favorite playlists, and talk about their personal truths.
For years I over consumed other coach’s materials thinking that they knew better than me on how to succeed online and in business in general. However, my success really took off when I was brave enough to do it my way. Being authentic in front of an audience or online can be very scary, but the truth is people want to see and hear from our true selves.
I unsubscribed from many of the email lists that I have been causing clutter and chaos in my inbox and in my brain. I spent more time listening to my thoughts, my ideas, and creating space for my own creative endeavors.
Because of this, I have also figured out that comparisonitis follows us. It can start when we are young, comparing ourselves in an unsupportive way with our grades, with how we look in a bathing suit, and it just follows us into adulthood where we continue to do this with our cars, with our homes, and with our incomes.
The antidote for comparisonitis is to check yourself. So you can see if the comparing leaves you feeling inspired, or less than in some way. If it is the latter, unsubscribe and move on. Then step back into your zone of genius, look at where you have found success and where you have learned from your mistakes then talk about that. That’s where all the goodness lives.
Do not be afraid to try your own ideas and start to be fearlessly authentic. Bravely, be you!
If you need help in working with being confident of who you are, I invite you to reach out for a connection call and see how you can bring out the best of yourself.
Happy weekend everyone!
Mind Your Strength,
Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.