A very insightful quote from Dale Carnegie said, “To be interesting, be interested”. I know this sounds already confusing but it definitely took your interest because you’re here reading this blog. And you made the right choice!
There are so many things fighting for our attention today, whether that’s FB, IG, Twitter, TikTok, email, text messages, your family, and the list goes on. But what I am trying to find is somewhat rare, and that is to have someone who will give you their full, undivided attention and interest.
How many of us have been with a friend who constantly pulls out their phone to check a text, or is in front of a store owner who is on the phone, or talking to someone else, or even a medical professional, who rarely looks up from their chart? This can leave us feeling unimportant and prompt us to pull out our phones to distract and so it goes. I mean… who am I kidding? With our world already full of things that take up so much of our time, how else are we going to find that someone who is ready to put down the phone and listen to what we have to say?
What I have been working on personally and professionally is to be intentional about being intentional. To be fully present even in the little moments because, to be honest, and even though this may sound silly, but it is so easy to not be present at all during the day. We hop from one Zoom call to another and then another, check some email and texts and run out the door to pick up our children or meet someone without taking one second to check in to how or what we want to feel or do inside those meetings. It’s like a loop that repeats every single day and we don’t seem to know how to stop it.
I know that most of us are not Zen Buddhist masters where we can really be in the now/fully present all day every day. But the good news is we can make it an intention to be fully present to the people who are right in front of us.
When you are at the park with your children, can you challenge yourself to be at the park with your children, become fully aware of the things they want to buy or the games they want to play?
When you are paying at the grocery store, can you challenge yourself to make eye contact with the cashier and crack a smile?
When you are on a Zoom call, can you challenge yourself to have your video on and actively listen?
You see, I truly believe that interesting people are interested in people. I am so inspired by watching Oprah give an interview because she is so fully present and asks her next question based off of what the person said previously in the conversation. I have witnessed those too with podcast interviewers who are not thinking about their next question, rather being fully committed to the moment they are in with the person they are talking with. This is how we become an interesting person. Because everytime we show how interested we are with people around us, even if it’s just for a small chat, we make those people feel important.
I believe this is one of the reasons coaching can be so powerful. During this sacred hour with me I give my clients my full, undivided attention and interest. I do not have any tabs open if I am on a Zoom call, I have my phone and Apple Watch on a ‘do not disturb’ mode and I am fully present. I am human and of course other thoughts randomly pop into my head, but I turn the volume on those way down to actively listen and sometimes give attentive silence, so that my clients can listen to themselves, think and witness what they say to me out loud.
I know this blog of mine has been talking a lot but I know you completely get me. So today, I challenge you to turn those notifications off, listen attentively, and ask relevant questions to people you will meet today. You’ll be surprised by the magic that these interactions will give you.
If you would like to experience a powerful connection, and if you’re seriously considering working with a coach, I invite you to experience the magic with me yourself.
Mind Your Strength,
Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.