Are there any moments where you don’t feel that you can trust women? 

Are you having a hard time having close relationships with women and find yourself saying that you are way more comfortable socializing with men?

This could be a sign of an unhealed sisterhood wound.

More than ever women are gathering in groups connecting on deeper levels and talking about sister wound healing. If this is a new term to you, the sister wound is essentially an experience where you felt rejected, hurt or betrayed by another woman in your life.

I haven’t met a woman who hasn’t experienced some form of the sister wound. Some common examples include: being excluded from the lunch table with the popular girls in school, criticism from our mom’s or sisters about our appearance, being excluded from an event in high school and sadly the list goes on.

The by-products of the sister wound can include:

  • Mistrust of other women
  • Inability to be assertive/stand up for ourselves
  • Fear of rejection/exclusion
  • Negative self-talk
  • Lack of self-love
  • Playing small
  • Trouble setting boundaries
  • Jealousy of other women
  • Trouble being vulnerable & expressing oneself in a unique way
  • Feelings of separation

So how can we begin to heal from this wound? I have 5 steps to start your sister wound healing journey.

Step one: Is to shine a light on this pattern with compassion and curiosity, recognizing that a lot of this stems from intergenerational trauma and conditioning.

Step two: Is to be open to doing inner work, whether that be therapy or coaching. Shadow work can be a particular healing modality for sister wounds.

Step three: Reconnect to your feminine energy or femininity, it can really help…..You have to love yourself and your femininity to love other women.

Step four: Is to make it a habit of celebrating other women that inspire you. It can take only a few moments to comment on another woman’s FB or IG post, to share it, or even attend an event that a fellow sister is hosting.

Step five: If you are a leader of women then I invite you to create safe spaces where women can express themselves with respect. Set the tone by setting healthy boundaries in any groups that you may run creating a loving and supportive place for women to express themselves.

Female leadership and sisterhood are on the rise.

My hope is that we continue to shine a light on this pattern and work towards breaking it so that we can heal and stop the spread to future generations. I invite you to give a compliment or support to a woman that you admire in your life today.

If this blog post resonates with you please share it or reach out for a connection call with me to start your healing journey.

Mind Your Strength,

Melanie Shmois

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.

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