I have come to realize as a coach that the bigger goal someone has, the bigger the negative feelings that he, she, they has to interact with. For example, one of my clients has a goal to lose 50 pounds. We discussed the likelihood that if she wants to lose this weight, she will have to become friends with the feelings of restlessness, deprivation, anxiety, stress, etc. on her way to her goal and likely afterward, during maintenance. She realized that these very feelings were the ones she tried to avoid and/or eat foods that didn’t serve her well-being so she could numb herself. This was a huge realization for her! She now knows how to ALLOW these feelings (see previous blog post for information on acknowledging all your emotions), which has been her secret weapon to weight loss and the end of emotional eating.

Similarly, my daughter set out to learn how to chant a very long Torah portion in Hebrew, and early on in her quest, I told her that she might have to embrace feelings of boredom, stress, or just having to allow herself to work though not wanting to practice. She often dreaded the calls with her tutor, but she learned how to process and allow these feelings so that they didn’t stop her from learning this new language. I am happy to report she had her big bat mitzvah day and read her Torah portion flawlessly because she allowed herself to be bored, stressed, and tired along the way.

So, I invite you to consider what BIG-BAD-FEELINGS you will have to befriend on the way to your big goal. Will it be: Deprivation? Dissatisfaction? Restlessness? Frustration? Annoyance? Stress?

What if I told you the willingness to allow these feelings is the key to achieving all that you want? You see, avoiding them, distracting ourselves from them, numbing out with social media, food, booze, etc. keeps us from our goals or at the very least slows down how long it takes to achieve them.

The secret is learning how to fully allow all feelings so they don’t stop you from accomplishing big things in your life. If you would like to learn how to do hard things and deal with the big feelings that will inevitably arise, I invite you to schedule a connection call with me. Together, we can help you from stopping yourself from achieving all that you want in your life. 

Let’s end this year strong and manifest what you want in the back half of this year. I’ve got you.

Mind Your Strength,

Melanie Shmois

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.


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