Hello beautiful humans! Over the past year, we’ve learned a lot about flexibility and resilience especially when things are happening that are outside of our control. As such, I thought it would be helpful to explore with you ways to anchor in and stay true to your visions when circumstances change.

I was asked to give a big talk last week and the host asked all the presenters: who are you as a woman? The question caught me by surprise and I think my answer equally surprised the audience. Most of the women responded with their titles or their circumstances. Things like: I am a mother, I am an accountant, I am a wife, I am a sister, etc. When my turn came, I said:

I am a humble and strong presence.

I answered this way because what the pandemic has taught me is that things like our circumstances, our jobs, and our titles can be ripped away in a moment’s notice and when this happens we are then confronted with learning who we are when our circumstances change. So before we dive in, let me ask you this: If you were to lose your job, your big title at work, or god forbid lose someone close to you…..Who are you? 

I did this work early on during the pandemic because I was so shaken up and feeling lost. You see, your circumstances do not determine your identity (not your work or being a mom or dad). Those things can be taken away unexpectedly yet you would still be here. I encourage you to ask yourselves:

What do you know will be true about you no matter what is happening in the outside world?

When I was exploring this question for myself, I revisited my vision and what I wanted to continue to create for myself, my family, and my clients. My larger context has always been strength. It started off as I built physical strength during my fitness journey, then I found mental strength, emotional strength, and now spiritual strength. It shows up in my life in a variety of ways, but in all instances, it serves as a guiding pillar and reminder of what’s important to me and how far I’ve come throughout these individual journeys.

This strength has helped me get out of my yoga pants and start dressing up again, find new innovative ways to work out, especially when my favorite gyms/studios were closed, and even in pivoting my business as I started to put myself out there on the internet with the goal of making an impact for my clients – even when I was scared of being rejected.

So, when all those titles that you currently associate yourself with are gone, who are you? I can’t answer this question for you because it is something you need to create and find for yourself. You get to choose it! Your identity is a collection of beliefs that you can choose to believe in for yourself, so choose wisely my friends. Let it anchor you when the going gets hard.

Take a few minutes today and really consider the following question:

What is true for you no matter what is happening in the outside world? ______________.

Remember, your answer can serve as a steadying anchor especially when you’re facing a challenge. These are unbelievably hard times for so many of us, and my hope is that this exercise can help you get reacquainted with the person you already know you are.

I currently have 3 one-on-one coaching spots available and will also be bringing back one of my most successful and transformative group coaching programs this spring. Let’s chat about how I can help you create or return to your powerful identity! Click here for access to my calendar where you can schedule a complimentary consultation that works with your schedule.

Mind Your Strength,

Melanie Shmois

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.


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