Pacing is an extremely important part of self-mastery, but can oftentimes go against the grain of what we have all been conditioned to believe.
Many of us were raised to believe that it is better to go faster, to get results, to excel, in a very linear way. We achieve goal one and then move to goal two, and then three, and so on. However, when it comes to self-mastery – or any healing journey where we are breaking old patterns – it is important to honor the need to pace ourselves.
I find that the beginning of any healing journey often starts out slow. It can take a while to unpack old patterns, belief systems, and traumas. Plus, trust between a client and a coach can take some time to grow! Once awareness starts to kick in, and momentum begins to build, only then can client progress start to speed up. No one size fits all, however. If your plate is already very full and something upsetting in your life occurs, you won’t be able to move through things quickly compared to someone who doesn’t have as much on their plate….and this is 100% okay.
In my sessions with my high-achieving clients, I find myself often having them slow down and simply breathe which is an important step for anyone on a healing or growth journey so that we don’t further overwhelm our nervous systems. If you move too fast in a coaching journey, you risk overwhelming yourself further and as a result, healing will actually take longer. In cases like this, the old saying “we have to slow down in life to speed up” rings so incredibly true.
Rushing can be an indicator that we are going too fast. Just like in everyday life when we rush, we often miss important things. Have you ever forgotten to grab your keys while flying out the door in a hurry or left your coffee mug on the top of our car as you drove away? The same is true of our self-mastery journey. If we rush, we miss out on important insights about ourselves and possible ah-ha moments.
I also see that my speed racers often don’t take the time to acknowledge incremental wins or progress. They forget to celebrate the first step of any change, which is awareness! Even if they still act in a way that they are not proud of, the awareness of this fact is actually progress in and of itself – but we can’t change what we are not aware of!
This is not a switch that can just be flipped overnight. In addition to many of us being raised with the “faster is better” mentality, we also live in an instant gratification society. But what I want to impart on all of you is that quick fixes when it comes to self-mastery don’t give sustainable, long-lasting results. Just like a fad diet, you may lose those 5 pounds, but will you keep them off for the rest of your life? Pacing is key to long-lasting and sustainable growth.
When you notice yourself start to get overwhelmed with a lot of negative emotion, this is a good indication that it is time to take a break and have some fun. There is no rushing when it comes to healing. I like to think of self-mastery in a more circular fashion vs. in a linear one. When we have less on our plate, we can speed up and when we don’t, we can slow down and take our time.
Your growth does not have to be rushed. When we exert pressure we block our joy, our flow, and our creativity, so don’t be scared to slow it down. It actually may speed up your results in the long term!
I want to help 10 high-achievers, high-performers, or athletes start the New Year with unshakeable inner peace and increased personal power no matter what is going on in their lives. I am offering an amazing 12-week group coaching program called Emotional Change for High Performers. We will start in Mid-January and I will be teaching and coaching participants on how to build inner strength to complement the physical strength and professional success they already possess!
Does this sound like you? If this piques your interest and you want to learn more, schedule a connection call so I can share the details of this game-changing new program!
Mind Your Strength,
Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.