A transformative theory that I learned last year and only recently accepted is that half of our life is going to be filled with negative emotion. Otherwise known as “feeling like ASS.” It is the balance of the universe to have negative things going on in the world in concert with amazingly wonderful things. The same is true for our emotional lives.
We need this contrast to even know and appreciate positive emotion. We wouldn’t know happy without having the reference of unhappy. Why this is important and transformative is that I realized that I was not fully accepting this ratio consciously and was always fighting for it to be heavily skewed towards the positive. If I was in a bad mood, I would fight against it as if it shouldn’t have been happening. For example, as a matter of resistance, I eat something crappy to change my state. What this did was up the ratio even more to the negative! My 50/50 then went to 65/50, more ASS after the guilt of eating poorly set in.
When you accept this contrast, you open up to the part that feels poorly. You are not fighting it, resisting it, or buffering away from it like I was with unhealthy food. Many times, we turn to alcohol to temporarily buffer the negative emotion for example. Bottom line is that we buffer more when we don’t accept the contrast. What I now say to myself is “This is the part of the day that I feel like ass and its okay. It is part of the deal. It is part of the human design to feel crappy. Noting has gone wrong, it just is. I also like knowing that even when someone achieves amazing success or fortune, they too experience half of their life with negative events. It is never going to be better, just a different flavor of negative emotion. Even billionaires feel this 50-50.
Many of my clients want to fight this and change the ratio to 80/20 especially when I teach them the life-changing Self-Coaching MODEL. But guess what? Still 50/50. I will say though, the more I have practiced my coaching skills and meditation practice the 50% that is crappy is experienced a bit differently, in a higher vibration ( but that concept is for another time and another blog post.)
Remember too, that often times we choose to feel negatively about something. When someone we love, or an animal passes away, we choose to feel sad and to grieve it. It would be creepy and almost inhuman not to. Negative emotion is the balance of feelings that helps us create the life we want. If discomfort is the currency to success, then a lot of negative feelings (self-doubt, anxiety, fear) have to be felt in order to move forward.
The next time you feel like crap, remember, this is normal and it is part of the deal. Just accept it. Once you open up to it, then you can tune into your thinking and see what was the cause. When you accept this emotion and feel it, then you can change it with some intentional thinking. If you have any questions about this, as some of these are advanced concepts, feel free to reach out. All the best.
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