Hello wonderful humans! I’ve been noticing a pattern resurfacing with some of my coaching clients this week, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to also share with you a bit about this specific tendency that many of us allow to get in the way of feeling good and creating the life we want. It’s something small, but it makes a BIG difference: Identifying yourself with a quality that doesn’t serve you!
Here are some examples from some of my coaching calls this past week……
- I am a procrastinator
- I am too sensitive
- I am not a morning person
- I am not charismatic enough
This isn’t just semantics, but rather a thought process that has turned into a belief system and ultimately becomes part of our identity – IF we let it. When we have thought the same thought over and over again it turns into a belief and for many people, can even progress to a truth that feels unchangeable. For example, when we think “I AM a procrastinator”, then our mind will go out of its way to seek out any and all evidence it can find to prove this thought to be true. Our mind actually works against us to cement this thought as truth and fact, thus creating quite a vicious cycle.
What we think most we create, so it is imperative to uncover these types of thoughts that have turned into belief systems and now part of your IDENTITY. When you identify as being a certain way, make sure that it is something that serves you and your visions.
I used to think that I was very sensitive. My family had lots of stories from my childhood to back up this claim and rather than question it, I instead took this on as my identity. You might imagine the heartache I endured, especially in my teenage years. Many years later when I started working with a coach on my personal transformation, one of the very first things she told me was that I could simply choose not to believe that about myself anymore.
Just like that, a long-standing belief crumbled just because someone simply gave me permission to believe something else about myself! It’s important to also realize that even if you have plenty of evidence to back up your claim, you can always decide to intentionally think something else about yourself instead. And believe me, as that new thought begins to turn into a belief, you will start to see the evidence to back it up, too!
What quality do you want to stop identifying with? _________________.
The next time you hear yourself tell someone else that you are just too shy or bad at something, see if you can catch yourself. If so, take a minute to question whether you truly want to continue believing this about yourself, or if you’d rather practice a new belief system; a new way to identify yourself that serves you better. I give you permission to let the old one go, right here and now.
Remember, beliefs are choices, so choose to believe amazing things about yourself and then your brain will go on a mission to prove that true. If you would like some support letting go of procrastination, self-sabotage, or any form of self-doubt, I invite you to reach out to schedule a connection call so we can talk on a more personal level about how I can help.
Enjoy the rest of your week!
Mind Your Strength,
Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.