A significant aspect I had wrong or backward before becoming a coach was the belief that I would feel certain once I achieved a desired outcome. For example, I believed that losing 20 pounds would make me feel happier, more secure, and accomplished. Similarly, I thought I would feel proud and free if I reached a specific revenue goal. What I didn’t realize then, and so many of my clients don’t know, is that results cannot create feelings.
In addition, the feeling we think we will have when we accomplish the goal IS the feeling we need to generate NOW to obtain the goal itself. What?!? How many of you have had this all backwards like me?
How can this be true? Well, someone is at your goal weight, earns what you desire, or even more, or has the partner of their dreams, but isn’t walking around constantly feeling how you think you would if you obtained it.
Feelings always come from our thoughts, not the results we have obtained in our life.
So, I recommend you take a few moments to consider how you think you would feel when you achieve the desired goal. Let’s say you want a better relationship with your finances and pay off all your debt. Close your eyes and think about how you will feel once that happens. Let’s say you believe you would feel abundant. Then that’s the feeling you would need to generate-on purpose to have a better relationship with money and pay off debt. We are more likely to connect to our money when we feel abundant. We are likely to look at the numbers more often, seek expert advice, and take the appropriate actions to pay that debt off.
Let’s say you think you will be happier, more secure, and accomplished when you lose 50 pounds; well, then those are the very feelings that will help you eat cleaner, move your body in a way that feels good, and seek support from a weight loss coach.
I know this might all sound counterintuitive, but it is crucial to create the desired outcomes. Feelings are the fuel for the actions we take or don’t take, so make sure to fuel those actions with the appropriate energy to get you where you want to go! I invite you to check in, close your eyes, and consider what feelings you will have at the finish line and create the thoughts that will create those FEELINGS NOW and drive you to take the consistent actions required to get you there.
If you desire support with this or any other aspects I have written about, I invite you to schedule a consultation call with me so we can customize this to work for your specific needs, wants, and desires.
Have a fantastic week.
Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.