Welcoming in all the emotions that come with pain is not easy.

I’d say off and on for most of November I was not feeling well physically. I won’t bore you with the details but it did include some migraine, headaches and fatigue. I have to say that my initial tendency was to avoid the pain, try whatever I could to eradicate it and then I noticed how much emotional pain was getting kicked up.

I really felt like there was so much insight and work that came from that so what I was noticing is that I was having a lot of fear, victimhood, self-pity, and almost like I wanted to throw a tantrum. It was all kinds of emotions coming through. Normally, I try to push past that pain or even talk to that side of myself really harshly.

However, in my learnings of shadow integration and embodiment work I really tried hard to welcome in all of those parts of me that were feeling like I was a victim, that part where I wanted some more pity, to be angry and stop around to have a tantrum.

Now that I chose to welcome and allow these parts of me to express themselves that’s when I really started to see that a lot of that slowly dissipated.

I had a stronger connection with myself.

I’m a very high energy person. Those who know me knew that I work out pretty much every day and that cycle was happening. But when I wasn’t feeling well enough to work out then I was having a lot of mind drama about that and it was just this another cycle of hating myself.

So I decided to allow all those parts of me to be present, to be seen, to be heard, and to be addressed because before I would just ignore them or try to kick them out and now that I’m on the other side of it true enough, I have my energy back. I really see that it created a lot of intimacy with myself.

The next time that you’re feeling really out of it physically, see if you can allow those parts of you to express themselves. For me, it was a lot of anger frustration, a lot of victimhood like Why is this happening to me? Why now? All those kinds of thoughts. Try to allow them to be there and actually embrace them, see them, hear them, address them. Do this without banishing them away and just pure acceptance.

You should notice if there’s any difference because I do know intellectually that contrast is really important to be aware of. The fact that I don’t always have high energy and that I’m not always going to feel well. I need that contrast to really be grateful for the times that I do.

I think it’s also a good way to connect with yourself so you can build some more self-intimacy and move past some of these tough times.

It’s time for you to learn to try to override all of those emotions.

I hope that’s helpful. I know a lot of my friends have also been sick whether it’s with the coronavirus, having a booster shot or just any of the little bugs that are going on. I’d like to invite you to do this work. You can always talk to me about it directly. Feel free to send me a message here.

Wish all of you well.

Have a great week everyone!

Mind Your Strength,

Melanie Shmois

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.


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