One of the most profound shifts that I have had in my leadership development over the past few years is learning how to lean back and empower others to succeed as opposed to taking on the full burden myself. This shift has increased my energy and impact, and I would like to share some tips with you if you are also in a position to lead people in your personal or professional life. 

Spoiler alert: You always have an opportunity to lead somehow!

My clients have learned so much more from me when I show up and live my life to the fullest; when I model how to be emotionally intelligent and live in full integrity with what I am teaching.

I love the metaphor of a lighthouse – where you shine your light so brightly that the ships who need guidance come to you rather than require you go out to rescue them. I love to create a sacred space where my clients can rise up to the challenge of managing their own emotions as opposed to me constantly checking in and reminding them to do so. 

Let your light shine so bright that you can’t help but attract others!

I see many leaders with such great intentions who are giving too much of themselves to the people they lead, almost to a breaking point. They often give way past what feels good to them, and it is at this point they start to feel bitter and exhausted. Instead, I encourage anyone who is in a leadership position to start leading themselves with emotional intelligence.

This isn’t about grabbing other people and saving them. This is about being a beacon so others can see your light and then learn how to find the light inside themselves. 

Lead by example, reminding others that anything is possible. Lead in a way that inspires others to rise up to that standard. Embody the vision of what you want to see in others, and they will follow you. 

When you are an example of what you teach, people will naturally be drawn to you and follow your lead. No one is depleted this way. You win. They win. And everyone grows. 

I also believe that it helps to wait until you master a certain skill or tool before you teach it or ask others to implement it. I like to wait until I have really found transformation from a coaching tool, and really embody it myself before I present it to others. This way I have solid evidence from my own life and first-hand experience that the tool works before even suggesting it to someone else.  

The people under your leadership cannot be expected to care more than you do. Embody your core values, vision, and raise your emotional intelligence, and others will be inspired to follow.

Mind Your Strength,

Melanie Shmois, MSSA LISW-S

If you would like to continue working on improving your leadership skills through increased emotional intelligence, I can help! Schedule a complimentary consultation below.

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.


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