I was going to write part 2 of how to have a difficult conversation, but writing about how to have fun in shorts sounded more important today. Not to worry, part 2 will be posted soon.
As the summer rolls in, for some of us, so does the tendency to criticize our looks and to beat ourselves up for eating and drinking foods that don’t help. Many of my clients are starting to dread putting on a bathing suit, shorts, and tank tops. Compare and despair looms large this time of year. What if you did something different this summer? What if you decided to show off those legs you have been hiding and have fun in shorts instead?
My challenge to all of you is to follow this 3 -step process to absolutely 100%, stop criticizing your body and stop beating yourself up for anything this summer. Why? Because when you beat yourself up it undermines your confidence and your ability to be a leader in your own life. Consider how you would respond to a boss or parent who was screaming at you and beating you up emotionally vs. a leader in your life who was kinder and supportive. Being more compassionate and is so much more effective than being a bully in both leadership and self-talk.
This does not mean you become complacent, soft, or unmotivated. This means that you meet yourself where you are at in your life, even after a well-intentioned mistake, so that you can learn and move on. Beating yourself up and criticizing yourself will only make you feel terrible about yourself. This, in turn, increases your chances of seeking solace in the very food or drink that caused this negative spiral.
This summer make a conscious decision to stop criticizing your body and beating yourself up for overeating or overdrinking with this 3-step process:
Step 1: Be aware of yourself doing it. You must be the watcher. Write down what you are thinking about yourself. Most of you will be shocked at how mean you are about yourself
Step 2: Realize the effect of thinking this way. How do you feel when you think these mean thoughts? What do you do when you feel this way? What is the result of you feeling and acting this way?
Step 3: Plan for what you will do when you start to be critical and beat yourself up. Instead, ask yourself “What is the matter?” (nicely) “What are you trying to avoid feeling?” “Why are you eating that (again in a compassionate and curious way)” Remind yourself that you no longer tolerate negative self-talk.
When I ditched the self-talk, I got to my goal weight and stayed there. And so have many of my clients. Just this week, my client Chris reported an 18.6 pound weight loss, Jeff is down 8 while is blood sugar levels are regulating, Lisa hasn’t had a drink in a month and Amanda is learning how to stop engaging in people pleasing behaviors. Join me this summer by saying NO to beating yourself up and replace it with a YES to a more effective way.
If you are ready to finally figure out what is standing in your way and how to move forward, contact me to schedule a mini-session. I’ll be waiting in my shorts and tank-top ready to go! http://bit.ly/2rD8YZk