“If you don’t love it set it free”

Have you been watching Marie Kondo’s show on Netflix? If not, she is a professional tidier from Japan who comes into cluttered American homes and helps them purge and re-organize their messes with her specific method. Afterwards, the families report feeling so much calmer and happier with less stuff but an increase in the systems in place to keep the living space tidy. This got me to thinking that this is a similar process I take my clients through to help de-clutter their minds. In fact, I do “Mental Hygiene” talks around the region to teach my mental decluttering process which I want to share with you today.

When you decide you want to grow, you pick a goal and make a commitment. Initially, you will start to feel confusion, doubt, and fear. Most people get stuck here and go unconscious. They start to think of other things they need to do and decide they are too busy, overwhelmed or stressed out to pursue their goal and seek immediate comfort instead. What I want to teach you is that this is the time to use the magic of self-coaching to clean up this mess in your own mind and keep moving towards the goal that you want. 

“If you don’t think on purpose you won’t create anything purposeful”

Having a daily journal or self-coaching practice is essential to good mental hygiene

When you get stuck, sit down with a journal and write for 5-10 minutes. Don’t judge your thinking: just write it all down until you run out of thoughts or time. We call this a THOUGHT DOWNLOAD. It is the equivalent to Marie Kondo having you put all of your clothes from your messy closet onto the floor to take a look. At this point I encourage you to breathe and trust the process. When we turn the lights on and see the mess in our own brain we are often tempted to turn the lights back off because we are overwhelmed by the mess. Stay conscious and know that eventually you will feel relief.

After you get all of your thoughts on paper, pick the one  thought that seems most interesting to you. Then you can ask yourself: 

How do I feel when I think this thought?____________ 

After you have your feeling down you can then ask yourself:

 When I feel this way, what do I do? How do I act?________ 

And, finally once you get all of your actions or inactions down ask yourself: 

What is the effect of this action on me?__________

Asking these questions helps us see the effect of our current thinking on our lives. We need to constantly remind ourselves that the thoughts in our brain are completely optional. We have the power to manage our thoughts and change our minds. It is essential not to rush this process. Marie does not come in an immediately re-organize, rather she has the families empty out everything into the middle of the room to take a look. She then encourages them to check in to see if the items still spark joy for them. You must purge what is no longer serving or bringing you joy first before you can start re-organizing and feeling better.

If you don’t love it set it free

Once you take the time to see the effect of the current thinking, then you can pivot to changing and thinking something different. We can ask ourselves what we want to feel instead and then create intentional thinking to support the goals that we have. I encourage my clients and you my fellow readers to make it a daily practice just like showering or brushing your teeth. Remember, your thoughts create your results, so it is crucial to take a look at what your thoughts are creating for you. Some thoughts like “I can never do this”, “I suck”, “I don’t deserve this” need to immediately go to the trash, others can be donated, and a few get to stay. Your brain is the most powerful tool on the planet take care of it better than anything else in your life. 

If you want to de-clutter your mind and learn how to manage it so you can get unstuck and do something epic, schedule a discovery call with me today: http://bit.ly/2rD8YZk

Also, if you know of anyone that would like me to speak on mental hygiene please forward them this blog. 

Melanie Shmois, LISW-MSSA, Certified Life & Weight Coach, Performance Coach for your mind

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