“When you fear missing out, you’re missing the moment”
Have you recently been scrolling through your Facebook or Instagram feed and find yourself feeling a twinge or more of jealousy as you come across your 4thfriend who is vacationing in the Caribbean while you are at home with the kids for the third snow day? Or you make plans with acquaintances and your good friends invite you to a party that sounds more fun? More and more people have been identifying these feelings as FOMO, Fear of Missing Out, especially the more we see what people are doing on social media. This feeling can vary, but for many it can be very bothersome; so let’s take a look at where FOMO comes from and how to overcome it.
When you have FOMO, you most likely believe that you would be happier doing what someone else is doing. In thought work, we see that FOMO is a set of thoughts that creates fear/anxiety. What I want you to understand that “missing out” is really just a thought, and there is really no such thing. We tell ourselves because our friends are in St. Thomas they must be happy, but remember that locations do not cause happiness; our thoughts do. You can be in the Caribbean and not be in the mood. Or you can be in a fight with your partner or feel sick of the sun. It is not the location that causes the happiness, it is your thoughts.
The other problem I see to is that when we are in FOMO, we are actually destroying the current moment we are in by worrying about what others are doing or what they did do without you. I think we have this false belief that there is a limited amount of pleasure or fun, and that if our friends are experiencing it now, there is less for us. Like if they all went on vacation and had a good time, then I am not going to be as happy because I wasn’t there. The whole time you are mulling this over, you are missing out on your current life/corrupting the present moment.
Here are some tips to help overcome FOMO:
1). Explore what thoughts are creating the FOMO in the first place & ask: What feeling am I afraid that I am missing out on?______________
2). Re-direct your mind away from scarcity and believing that if they had fun, and you weren’t there, then you missed out on fun to, “Wait….That’s an option?!? Amazing! The more Joy/Fun/Happiness that exists the more there is available to me too.
3). Work on being in the present moment as much as possible. Here and now is all we have, so find JOY now even if you are in a waiting room at a dental office or courtside at a basketball game. Our thoughts create our feelings not our experiences. Trust me there is some kiddo crying right now in Disneyland.
4). Close your eyes and whatever feeling you are afraid of missing out on, try to create it now in your mind with your thoughts. Roll your shoulders back, take a deep breath, and feel that feeling NOW.
“ For everything you have missed you have gained something else”
The more you try to soak in something pleasurable in this moment or find some thoughts that bring you peace and happiness, the less FOMO you will experience because you’ll realize there is no such thing as a future moment that is better than right now. There is always something amazing going on, so choose to focus on what you are doing and what you are gaining by being fully present with yourself.
If you struggle with FOMO or any other issue that I have blogged about, don’t hesitate to reach out to discuss one on one coaching with me to end your struggle and solve any problem.
Schedule your complimentary coaching call with me here: http://bit.ly/2rD8YZk
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Have a great week everyone!