I was meeting with a woman in the Life Lounge recently who was frustrated that year after year, she has not been able to attract the man of her dreams. She even showed me a very specific list of qualities that she would like this dreamy man to possess. After many bad dates and a decade ending without her soulmate, she started to become hopeless. She started to doubt that attracting him was even possible and was starting to consider giving up on this dream altogether.

Are you in alignment with what you are searching for?

After listening to her and all of her attempts to attract this dream man, I asked her “Are you an energetic match to him?” She paused and looked at me very confused before asking me to expand on the question. I then asked her to look at her detailed list about the qualities this man needed to possess (handsome, funny, emotionally available, liberal, disciplined, into fitness, kind, etc.) and asked her if this dream man existed and was looking for a perfect match himself, would she be that woman? Was she acting in alignment with his ideal mate? 


My client took a deep breath and told me that she had never considered turning these wants, these desires, these qualities back onto herself. She later told me that it was one of the biggest ah-ha moments she has ever had. We talked at length about how alignment means that you are BEING & DOING things that are totally consistent with the result you desire. We talked about how she could be funny, kind, emotionally available to herself and to the men she was dating. She told me this changed everything for her and how she was approaching her relationship with herself and her dating life. I can’t wait to see what transpires in 2020.

So if you have a goal this year to have dream clients, well-behaved children, or to lose 20 pounds, ask yourself this same question: Are you an energetic match for your desired result? Are you the dream coach that your dream clients would look for and love to work with? Are you the dream mom that your well-behaved children would thrive with? Are you a dream partner for your dream partner?

What I find is that this question requires some introspection and a sense of control before empowerment kicks in. You don’t have to wait for an external circumstance to change for you to start working towards your goal. You can begin to start being and doing what you need to do right in this very moment to be that match to your dream result. Ask yourself this: Who do I need to be? If I want to lose 20 pounds and become physically fit, ask yourself, who do I need to be to accomplish this? Disciplined, certain, proud, ready, etc. Living into the qualities of your desired end result will help you fully embody the process to get there.


It’s not so much about the numbers, it’s about the behaviors and actions that someone who has these results operates with. That is true alignment. BEING & DOING what that person who has the goal does.

So I will ask you….Who are you being in your health? Who are you being in your relationships? Who are you being in your business? These questions can help you get into perfect alignment to create and attract what you want in your life.

There is still time to book your transformative Life Lounge Session that will give you clarity around who you need to be and what you need to do to accomplish what is important to you this year.

Mind Your Strength,

Melanie Shmois

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S

Melanie Shmois, MSSA, LISW-S, is a licensed social worker, holding a Master’s Degree (MSSA) from Case Western Reserve University and a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Spanish. After spending 2 decades helping others achieve their mental and personal goals, Melanie worked with Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo, and became a certified Life and Weight Coach through the Life Coach School.

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