Your relationship with yourself is what matters most. Not what I may think, your boss, your children, even your partner. When your relationship is not great, we often search for our self-esteem to be inflated from other people. We might fish for compliments, or spend a lot of mental energy wondering why someone hasn’t noticed us or included us in some way. We are at their mercy. Rejection, anxiety, and feeling left out can surface causing a lot of emotional anguish. When we receive constructive criticism at work, we can crumble and obsess about our shortcomings using others judgements as evidence for low self-worth.
What I want to offer to you is that if you work daily on having a strong relationship with yourself by honoring your commitments to yourself, refusing to beat yourself up when you fall short, and compliment yourself daily, then other people’s opinions become so much less important.
In fact, many of my clients’ worldview changes when they learn that other people’s opinions have nothing to do with them anyway. It’s like a massive boulder is no longer attached to their backs. Think about it. If 10 people met you at the exact same time and place, it’s highly likely that they would all have a different opinion of you. How can this be if you are the consistent variable? Because they all bring their own personal histories, biases, and thoughts to the table. You are the same, but it’s others’ thinking that is the difference.
It is also important to know that your performance at work is separate from your self-worth. I have had clients who received unsavory evaluations at work and they used this as beating stick and evidence of low self-regard. Your work performance is separate from your self-esteem. It doesn’t mean you don’t work on the issues at work, but your true self-worth doesn’t have to be impacted.
The bottom line is that your self-worth is absolute. Just because you are alive, you are worthy. Like all the sweet babies in the nursery at any given day, we are all born perfect, loveable, and worthy. We are just the adult version of those babies. You don’t have to achieve anything, or give something to receive it, it just is.
If you struggle in this department, I recommend that you compliment yourself daily. You draw a line in the sand and refuse to beat yourself up ever for anything, ever, remember there is no upside anyway. You bring compassion and understanding to your mistakes.
Know that no one can change your opinion of yourself. Not now. Not ever. They may try, but an engrained self-esteem shouldn’t waver.
Spend a lot of time loving on yourself. It is not selfish or conceited. Instead, it is everything.
If this is a stretch, then try on this power thought “I am becoming a person who believes she is complete”. I believe you are a badass, you might as well believe you are too, because that matters most. Think of who you would be if you did always and forever.
What better way to start of 2018 then to invest in yourself and your mental health by scheduling a mini-session with me. Spots are sometimes limited, so don’t hesitate. I am reviewing 2017 with my current clients and planning crazy amazing goals for 2018, so I’d love for you to come along, schedule a session @ mindyourstrength.com or reply, Schedule Now to this email for a special holiday offer.
Have a fantastic day and keep training your mind as hard as you train your body to feel better!