Learning to Stay: How Embracing Discomfort Became a Practice in My Life

I recently became certified as a cold plunge and sauna guide, and in many ways, it feels like a natural extension of the work I’ve been doing for years.

Not because I’m obsessed with extremes or pushing the body past its limits, but because so much of my coaching has always centered around one essential skill:

Learning how to be with discomfort instead of running from it.

For years, I’ve sat with clients as they navigate emotions they were never taught how to hold: loneliness, restlessness, self-doubt, uncertainty, boredom, grief, and desire. The kinds of feelings that don’t feel dangerous… but feel deeply uncomfortable.

And most of the time, the goal isn’t to make those feelings go away.

It’s to build the capacity to stay present with them.

The Power of Staying a Little Longer

I was recently in conversation with a client who was struggling with feelings of loneliness, not the loud, dramatic kind, but the quiet kind that creeps in during still moments.

The kind that makes you want to scroll, overwork, snack, drink, distract, or fill your calendar just to avoid being alone with yourself.

Instead of trying to fix the loneliness, we explored a gentler—but far more powerful—approach.

What if she didn’t push the feeling away?

What if she challenged herself to stay with it just a little longer than she normally would?

Not for hours. Not indefinitely. Just five minutes. Ten minutes. Maybe twenty.

Something shifted.

As she practiced allowing the discomfort in small, intentional increments, she began to trust herself more. She realized she could feel uncomfortable emotions without needing to escape them. And as that confidence grew, the urge to rely on distractions that pulled her away from her goals started to loosen its grip.

She wasn’t trying to eliminate discomfort.

She was building a relationship with it.

When Discomfort Becomes a Practice

That conversation made me realize something important:

This practice of “staying a little longer” has quietly woven itself into many areas of my own life.

In workouts—>when my body tells me it’s too hard, I stay for one more breath. In the sauna, when the heat intensifies, I soften instead of rushing out. In the cold plunge—>when every instinct says get out, I meet myself with presence.

Not to prove toughness. Not to suffer. Not to override my body.

But to practice being with intensity without panic.

Because discomfort doesn’t need to be conquered.

It needs to be met.

Why Small Increments Matter

We often think transformation requires massive action or extreme discipline.

But the nervous system doesn’t change through force—it changes through repetition and safety.

Small, intentional doses of discomfort teach your body and mind something profound:

I can feel this… and I’m okay.

And from that place, something powerful emerges: Self-trust. Emotional resilience. Choice.

When you’re no longer afraid of discomfort, you stop organizing your life around avoiding it. You stop numbing, buffering, and abandoning yourself in moments that actually hold the greatest potential for growth.

So here’s the question I’ll leave you with:

Where in your life could you practice staying just one minute longer?

With an emotion. With a sensation. With uncertainty. With yourself.

Not to push. Not to fix. But to listen.

Because when you learn to stay, you don’t just build tolerance, you build a deeper relationship with your own strength.

Quietly. Gently. From the inside out.

If there is something in your life that you know you tend to run away from, distract, or numb, and you would like to find another way and develop some resilience on the other side, please reach out.