The First Thought Work That Changed My Life
One of my clients recently asked me a simple but powerful question: “When you first found thought work, what thoughts did you actually practice?”
It brought me back to the very beginning of my own journey a time when I desperately needed a new way to handle stress.
Back then, my daughters were toddlers. If you’ve ever been in that stage, you know exactly what I mean: tantrums in the grocery store aisle, meltdowns over the wrong color cup, emotional explosions at the most inconvenient times.
I didn’t know how to handle it emotionally. I felt impatient, frustrated, and out of control. Like many parents, I thought the problem was their behavior. If only they calmed down, then I could calm down.
But when I discovered coaching, everything shifted.
The first life-changing concept I learned was this: 👉 It wasn’t their behavior causing my feelings. It was my thoughts about their behavior.
And my thoughts at the time? Let’s just say they weren’t pleasant: This shouldn’t be happening. I can’t handle this. They’re driving me crazy.
So I began practicing one simple thought over and over:
“I can be calm and collected even when they aren’t.”
At first it felt unnatural, but every time a tantrum started, I repeated it. Over time, it changed everything. I was able to stay grounded, redirect my kids calmly, and show up as the parent I wanted to be instead of the reactive one I had been.
How This Applies to Busy Professionals
Now, maybe you’re not dealing with toddler meltdowns anymore. But as a busy professional, your version of the tantrum might look like this:
A client firing off an angry email at 9 p.m.
A boss dropping a last-minute project on your desk before you leave
A colleague reacting emotionally in a high-stakes meeting
An overflowing inbox that feels like it’s screaming at you
The stress looks different, but the feeling is the same, impatient, frustrated, reactive, and out of control.
This is where thought work becomes so powerful.
That same phrase that helped me survive toddlerhood —> “I can be calm and collected even when they aren’t” is the very same one I now use with clients in boardrooms, leadership roles, and fast-paced careers.
Because when you practice this thought, you stop outsourcing your peace. You no longer need your boss, your team, or your circumstances to calm down before you allow yourself to.
The Payoff
When you learn to manage your thoughts, you:
✨ Step into meetings with clarity instead of reactivity.
✨ Navigate difficult conversations with confidence.
✨ End the day feeling grounded, not drained.
And that’s what my client really wanted to know when she asked me: “What thoughts did you practice at the beginning?”
It wasn’t about parenting or tantrums.
It was about how to handle the messy, unpredictable parts of life with more composure and power.
The first thought I chose was: “I can be calm and collected even when they aren’t.”
And that one thought changed everything.
If you’re curious what thought work could look like in your own career and personal life, this is exactly what we dive into inside my coaching programs. Together, we uncover the thoughts that are keeping you stuck and create new ones that help you step into the leader, parent, or partner you want to be.
