When Pain Meets Resistance

This isn't a topic I write about very often, but it's been coming up repeatedly in coaching sessions over the past few weeks, so I thought it was worth sharing.

Pain.

One of my longtime clients recently threw his back out.

As you can imagine, the physical pain was real. But as we talked, something else became apparent.

His mind immediately jumped to thoughts like:

"This shouldn't be happening."
"Why is this happening to me?"
"Something has gone wrong with my body."

If you've ever experienced significant pain, you've probably had thoughts like these too.

I know I have.

I experience hormonal headaches from time to time, and I've become increasingly aware of how quickly my mind wants to resist them.

"Not today."
"I don't have time for this."
"This is going to ruin my day."

While those thoughts are completely understandable, I've noticed they often create something beyond the physical pain.

They create suffering.

Pain and suffering are not always the same thing.

Pain is the sensation.

Suffering is often the story our mind begins telling about the sensation.

The fear.

The frustration.

The resistance.

The belief that this moment shouldn't be happening.

For both my client and me, one of the first practices was surprisingly simple.

We began replacing dramatic interpretations with neutral observations.

Instead of:
"Something is terribly wrong."

We practiced:
"I have a headache."

Or...
"My back hurts."

Not because we were minimizing the pain.

But because we were acknowledging reality without adding unnecessary fear or resistance.

Acceptance doesn't mean you like the pain.

It doesn't mean you stop seeking medical care or ignore your symptoms.

It simply means you stop arguing with the fact that, in this moment, the pain is here.

Once we stopped fighting reality, something interesting happened.

My client began looking at his back injury through a different lens.

Rather than seeing it only as something that had been taken from him, he began wondering whether it could also be a reset.

An invitation to slow down.

To reflect.

To listen.

The pain didn't magically disappear.

But his relationship with it changed.

And that mattered.

One of the most powerful questions we can ask ourselves during difficult seasons is:
"How can I take the best possible care of myself today?"

Not next week.

Not when the pain is gone.

Today.

Sometimes that means resting.

Sometimes it means moving your body gently.

Sometimes it means asking for help.

Sometimes it simply means speaking to yourself with a little more kindness.

If you're living with physical pain, a recent diagnosis, or an ongoing health challenge, I invite you to gently notice the conversation happening in your mind.

Not with judgment.

Not to force yourself to think positively.

But with curiosity.

Are you resisting what already is?

Are you telling yourself a story that is making this even harder?

What might change if you practiced accepting this moment exactly as it is while still caring for yourself in every way you can?

Pain is hard enough.

Let's not ask our minds to make it harder.

If you'd like support learning how to work with your thoughts during life's most challenging moments, I'd be honored to help.

Until next time,
Melanie